MARRIAGE- a wedlock or a deadlock

By: Asma Batool

Several cases have been reported daily on dowry, where girls and women were put to death cruelly either by their parents or in-laws.

Several cases have been reported daily on dowry, where girls and women were put to death cruelly either by their parents or in-laws. DESIGN / ILLUSTRATION: Raja Taimur Hassan

Wedding is not an easy task for the parents – especially the girl. Since the birth of a baby girl, her parents sleeve up to collect dowry and think of perfect match for her. This strive is all due to the traditions and societal norms associated with wedding.

Marriages are fixed in heaven and are celebrated on earth”. I found such quotes on wedding cards and then my mind flashes back to the marriages celebrated in the societies like ours.

We cannot deny the fact that our society is male dominating where pursuing a right girl is based on certain bench-marks. She is judged across the standards and criteria of Cinderella in terms of beauty and Queen Elizabeth in terms of wealth.

A large number of girls are still at their parents’ doorstep just because of pre-set standards and so called traditions. Imagine a girl with moral values and education but rejected hundreds of time just for having an ordinary features or appearances. What would be the value of her eternal beauty then?

Wedding rituals also involve dowry as a significant part. This tradition is ancient and is observed even in educated class. Birth of the female is considered to be a blessing but it is due to these worthless traditions that have made a daughter – a curse for her parents. An old man strives whole life to earn resources in order to soothe his daughters’ life as stability of high-esteem marital life, which only ensured with the amount of dowry. Several cases have been reported daily on dowry, where girls and women were put to death cruelly either by their parents or in-laws.

Story is not ended here- You might hear the phrase “it’s a tradition” while conducting number of ceremonies, which are nothing more than the influence from Indo-Pak culture. Huge amount of money is wasted in these ceremonies for the sake of managing reputation in the society.

If we closely observe the concept of marriage in Islam we would find it absolutely simple- Nikah ceremony in the presence of close relative and then reception offered by groom. Alas!! Such a noble relationship is now full of financial burden for the families specially belonging to poor class.

Despite of all these worthless efforts, we cannot deny that our society is facing increased rate of divorces every day. Why we do not ask our families the reason behind these failed marriages. We have forgotten golden principles of Quran and Sunnah, and instead are following traditions as mandatory practice. We should take a glance that where we are headed as a society collectively?

In such scenario religious and key opinion leaders must play their role in eradicating the evil practices involved. They should join hands with the affected girls and women to raise their voices in media and in local community thereby highlighting outcomes of practicing these traditions.

In pre and post marriage counseling sessions topics on marriage rituals should be incorporated not only addressing couples but also their families. This will generate awareness among youth but also decision makers in the family. Remember marriage is a faithful wedlock not the deadlock of lust and contemporary ideas.

The writer is a MBA student of Institute of Business Management.

Note: The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the author of the Blog.

About Social and Development log of Pakistan (SDLP)

Social and Development log of Pakistan (SDLP) is an attempt to highlights real public issues, which include social, economic and political issues, and complete policy analysis of that issues having experts opinion and analysis on it. SDLP will raise all public issues on the basis of facts and try to advocate at the highest forum which may influence the policy-makers and draw their attention towards the real problem. SDLP also welcomes contributions to our blog. For that you may send your queries/suggestions/articles etc at Twitter: or @taimur__ Facebook:
This entry was posted in Gender, Human Rights, Pakistan Social Issue and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to MARRIAGE- a wedlock or a deadlock

  1. Masood says:

    Very well written Asma!

  2. Kazim Raza says:

    Great selection of topic. I think it must be discussed on open forum such as on live talk shows
    still a lot of awareness is needed among those greedy parents who think wealth is all in their lives.

  3. sobia naz says:

    Truly agreed with your thoughts and hope that this is the voice of every victimized women or girl.

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